"This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:38-39,
ESV)
What does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? I have heard some argue that we have a generation of people who don’t know how to love themselves – thus the push for higher self-esteem in our youth. I would argue that we love ourselves greatly.
I have suffered from back pain periodically throughout my life. I can tell you, when my back flairs up and I find it excruciating to simply walk across the room to the bathroom, I am completely focused on myself and my own pain. When I have a migraine, and the pain in my head consumes my thoughts, the whole world goes away; I am completely self-absorbed and focused on anything that will make me feel better. I may take medication and pray; I may ask others to pray. I darken the room, go to bed, and sometimes I cry. Nobody has to remind me that I am in pain and need prayer and healing.
I rarely get migraines; but, the last time I had one it occurred to me, with much shame, that I know several women who experience them regularly. Why is it I forget to pray for them? Because loving others doesn’t come natural; loving myself does. So I purposed, in the midst of my pain, to pray for those women, as I also prayed that God would relieve my own pain. I desperately want to follow the Lord’s call to love my neighbor as myself.
Nancy Leigh Demoss said it well in her book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free:
"We naturally love ourselves; we do not naturally love others.
"In Ephesians 5...Paul says that husbands are to "love their wives as [they instinctively love] their own bodies...After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it (vv. 28-29, italics added).
"We are constantly looking out for ourselves, deeply sensitive to our own feeling and needs, always conscious of how things and people affect us. The reason some of us get hurt so easily is not because we hate ourselves but because we love ourselves! We want to be accepted, cherished, and treated well. If we did not care so much about ourselves, we would not be so concerned about being rejected, neglected, or mistreated.”
Self Absorption Leads to Pride
My husband typically practices expository preaching; however, with our upcoming travel schedule, and because he didn’t want to start and stop while preaching through a book of the Bible, he decided to do a sermon series entitled The Seven Deadly Sins.
This past Sunday he preached on the prevalent and blinding sin called “pride.” You can listen to the sermon HERE.
Just as it is difficult to see how much we love ourselves, it is also difficult to see how prideful we are. Pride is blinding. I believe that just as we are born into sin, we are born with blinders on that hide from us our self-absorption and pride. God, through His Holy Spirit, is the only one who can reveal to us its existence in our lives and how loathsome it is to Him. "The pride of your heart has deceived you…” (Obadiah 3:3 ESV)
In 1 Timothy, Paul describes another group that is deceived by pride. While addressing those Christians who were under authority, he warns about those who “crave controversy” and quarrel over words. He says their arguments produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and conflict.
"If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people…" (1 Timothy 6:3-5, ESV) emphasis mine
Matthew Henry expounds:
“Paul here warns Timothy to withdraw from those who corrupted the doctrine of Christ, and made it the subject off strife, debate, and controversy…The doctrine of our Lord Jesus is a doctrine according to godliness; it has a direct tendency to make people godly. But he that does not consent to the words of Christ is proud (v. 4) and contentious, ignorant, and does a great deal of mischief to the church, knowing nothing…”
The Internet has been a wonderful tool for teaching and sharing information. However, at times, it has also been used to “corrupt the doctrine of Christ” by producing and spreading envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and friction among the brethren. I believe the root of it all is pride. And the answer, as always, is to repent.
In my early days on the Internet, I recall getting embroiled in all sorts of debates. At first, it was harmless enough, and a good deal of fruit came from being challenged “sword sharpens sword” style. However, it
wasn’t long before I noticed a pattern in many of these online debates: once everyone had shared their point of view and the topic had been exhausted, there often was at least one person who would not let things die peacefully. Beating a dead horse would be putting it mildly. Not only did these individuals want to
be right, they wanted everyone to
know they were right, and
admit they were right.
I confess, I have been guilty of this sort of online spiritual fencing; and, to my shame, as “right” as I may have been, I often proved myself to “know nothing” (1 Tim. 6:4) by the very lack of charity and grace in my words. Because to “know something” is to be filled with the wisdom and love of God—to love our neighbor as ourselves.
Wisdom is revealed when we are not self absorbed, pampering our own self image, because love does not envy or boast. Love
isn’t arrogant or rude; it
doesn’t insist on its own way, carry resentments, or celebrate the wrongs of others.
No. Love is indeed patient and kind. Love rejoices in the truth, is
longsuffering, believes the best of others, and hopes for good, revealing a spirit of endurance. May we all learn to love one another as we love ourselves (Matt. 22:39). Even better, let us learn to love one another as Christ loved us, and gave Himself for us (1 Corinthians 13). Let our love for God and for one another be a sweet smelling aroma to our Lord.
"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2,
NKJV)
Read also
Rusty Trumpets:
“And let us all avoid
dissentions and quarrels about the law, and commit to firmly communicating the truth - firmly, boldly, graciously, and always, always in love.”
