That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace… Psalm 144:12
What is a corner stone?
A cornerstone is the foundational stone at the corner of two walls. It is not used in just any structure, but is typically found in temples, churches, mansions, or elaborate buildings. A cornerstone is set in a prominent location and typically has an inscription that communicates to others the details of the structure’s history.
So by looking at the cornerstone you should know who designed the structure, how old it is, who built it,
who owns it and possibly what its worth as a historical monument.
Other Bible versions use the word pillar. “That our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style…” What is a pillar? A pillar can either provide a strong foundational support to whatever is above it or it can stand alone as a monument. Typically, it supports something. (Interesting that our daughters may be later called to be helpmeets to their husbands who are in authority over them).
The psalmist says the pillar is sculptured in palace style. In other words the pillar has been carefully cut, shaped, and polished to be fit for a palace – for royalty. This is a picture of how we are to raise our daughters—to be fit for glorifying the King of kings in whatever way he wishes.
When the world sees our daughters they should see strong pillars of faithful purity and beauty. A godly maiden is a living testimony to her Creator—she amplifies not herself, but God. Supporting and serving not herself, but her family and those who God calls her to serve.
The world would like to teach our daughters that their beauty is measured by how much they weigh and how sensually attractive they are—that old age is their biggest enemy. The world rages that a daughter should live for herself, become as independent and powerful as she can, and, “above all,” they tell her, “never let a man rule your life.”
For the record, a maiden isn’t called to be weak or helpless; she is literally to be a pillar of strength – His strength. She is also to be beautiful – to radiate His beauty with all purity and love. She obtains this type of loveliness through His faithful craftsmanship of her character and demeanor; not from her own vain efforts at the fading kind of beauty—though her outward appearance in not unimportant.
Our daughters are to be molded, shaped, and polished, so that they are strong cornerstones who actively glorify God and stand as a steadfast testimony to future generations. They are to be fully able to support that which they have been called to bear with dignity, virtue, and strength.
Interestingly, a maiden’s testimony bears the holy inscription of the One to Whom she belongs. And since she is not her own, but she is bought with a price, her very life should vibrantly declare the glory of her Creator.
In our day, there is a marked attack on the beauty and loveliness of true, biblical femininity. My husband, James McDonald, has written a tribute to our own daughters, as well as daughters everywhere who are making a stand for biblical girlhood, womanhood, and family unity.
What is a corner stone?
A cornerstone is the foundational stone at the corner of two walls. It is not used in just any structure, but is typically found in temples, churches, mansions, or elaborate buildings. A cornerstone is set in a prominent location and typically has an inscription that communicates to others the details of the structure’s history.
So by looking at the cornerstone you should know who designed the structure, how old it is, who built it,
who owns it and possibly what its worth as a historical monument.Other Bible versions use the word pillar. “That our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style…” What is a pillar? A pillar can either provide a strong foundational support to whatever is above it or it can stand alone as a monument. Typically, it supports something. (Interesting that our daughters may be later called to be helpmeets to their husbands who are in authority over them).
The psalmist says the pillar is sculptured in palace style. In other words the pillar has been carefully cut, shaped, and polished to be fit for a palace – for royalty. This is a picture of how we are to raise our daughters—to be fit for glorifying the King of kings in whatever way he wishes.
When the world sees our daughters they should see strong pillars of faithful purity and beauty. A godly maiden is a living testimony to her Creator—she amplifies not herself, but God. Supporting and serving not herself, but her family and those who God calls her to serve.
The world would like to teach our daughters that their beauty is measured by how much they weigh and how sensually attractive they are—that old age is their biggest enemy. The world rages that a daughter should live for herself, become as independent and powerful as she can, and, “above all,” they tell her, “never let a man rule your life.”
For the record, a maiden isn’t called to be weak or helpless; she is literally to be a pillar of strength – His strength. She is also to be beautiful – to radiate His beauty with all purity and love. She obtains this type of loveliness through His faithful craftsmanship of her character and demeanor; not from her own vain efforts at the fading kind of beauty—though her outward appearance in not unimportant.
Our daughters are to be molded, shaped, and polished, so that they are strong cornerstones who actively glorify God and stand as a steadfast testimony to future generations. They are to be fully able to support that which they have been called to bear with dignity, virtue, and strength.
Interestingly, a maiden’s testimony bears the holy inscription of the One to Whom she belongs. And since she is not her own, but she is bought with a price, her very life should vibrantly declare the glory of her Creator.
In our day, there is a marked attack on the beauty and loveliness of true, biblical femininity. My husband, James McDonald, has written a tribute to our own daughters, as well as daughters everywhere who are making a stand for biblical girlhood, womanhood, and family unity.
He also clarifies a rumor, that started out as a misunderstanding, over whether or not daughters are to be "helpmeets" to their fathers. (They are not!) Read the Botkins’ own words and catch a glimpse of the truth – that our adult daughters play an important part in the well-orchestrated song of home.
29 earnest comments:
Dear Stacy,
I am so glad to see you speaking out and setting the record straight (so to speak) about misconceptions circulating about daughter's roles. My husband and I have presonally been blessed by your family ministries through the years (Patriarch's Path, HSing Today, Family Reformation, and your book). I especially enjoy seeing your lovely family, and your daughters that obviously delight in their family and their life at home. Not a stale life- but a love of joy lived for the Lord. What a testimony!!! Oh, that my three girls would radiate godly happiness when they are older like your girls and the Botkin sisters!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks to you and your husband.
Blessings on your day,
Sarah E.
I am raising several small boys (the Lord hasn't blessed us with a daughter as of yet) and I get so weary explaining to my young sons why women act/dress the way they do, why many women (who are married)choose not to have children and why other moms work outside the home...etc.
Your post today is personally encouraging to me, because I came from a feminist home. My mom was a major 'man hater' and her beliefs shaped so much of what I thought early on. I thought that the bible spoke of hatred towards women.
Now days, when God speaks to me, He shows me an image of a princess in a palace; a daughter of THE KING. He addresses me as an adopted princess-one that doesn't really belong in the palace to begin with, but is there by grace...learning daily.
Thank you for being a princess who is willing to speak up, Stacy!
Thank you so much for being a light and a blessing in the midst of such darkness and ugliness!
Blogs and web-sites designed to tear down the family have run rampant lately, and it is refreshing and encouraging to come here and read your words as well as those of your husband.
May God bless you both for your courage and willingness to defend truth. Many out in cyber-space appreciate you and are praying for you. Please do carry on boldly in the strength of the Lord!
In Christ,
Trish
Stacy,
As my daughters have grown they were taught this very truth. But when my eldest daughter became 16 she talked to me and my husband asking to get a job. It was a heartbreaking time for me. For you see, my husband made the final choice and allowed her to work a full time job.
This choice has been so harmful. My daughter has changed in dress, attitude, and heart since this change 3 months ago. The things that she once did joyfully have now been pronounced by her a burden.
I am glad to say that after a hard three months she is leaving the job and returning home. But sad to say that it is my husbands and her opinion that it was the job she choose, not working outside the home in itself that caused the problem.
This was not the anyones opinion in my home until she turned 16, I am not sure what changed her heart or my husbands.
What is truly even more sad is that now my younger daughters are wondering what changed as well.
I asked my husband before I posted this, he is fully aware of how things have changed and knows how I feel. My hearts desire is that this will change for our family and I will once again have all my daughters hearts at home.
I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your blog.
I also gave you the Nice Matters Award.
Amen! Thank you for this beautiful post. One of the greatest desires my husband and I have is to see our three little girls grow up to be lovely, godly young ladies like your girls and the Botkin girls.
We attended the SAICFF two years ago and were so blessed by the shining examples of godly young manhood and womanhood that we saw there. It is a picture that is still impressing us. Seeing young folks like this (and your own children and others) gives us real hope and encouragement as we train up our own little boys and girls that it IS indeed possible to raise pure and godly young men and women in this day and age.
May the Lord richly bless you and yours!
Jennifer
www.noblewomanhood.com
www.old-paths.com
And a P.S. to say that I was an at-home daughter and don't regret it for one second! Quite the opposite! Everything I learned there (Home management, working in our family businesses, homeschooling my younger brothers, handling the laundry for a household of ten people, new baby care, etc,) has stood me in excellent stead as the mother of 6 little ones of my own now.
I am reaping the blessings of it still today.
God bless,
Jennifer
My husband and I became believers in the Lord Jesus when our children were 3 and 1 (they are now 17 and 15). Since that time, we have done a complete about-face as to how we are raising our children. Our families and friends think we are crazy, so, of course, we get mostly criticism from them. I am thankful for the Botkin sisters' book, your Maidens of Virtue book, and all the wonderful resources from Vision Forum. They helped us learn that we are not alone as we raise our daughter in this counter-cultural path (even though we often FEEL alone). Our daughter will graduate from our homeschool next year, and in truly counter-cultural style, will not be attending college nor getting a job outside the home. She will remain in our home, under her father's loving protection, furthering her education through some online courses, reading some of the great classics she hasn't had the opportunity to read yet, doing the books for our family woodworking business, serving friends with younger children, and improving the skills she will need to one day manage her own home, among other things. It is a path that often brings mocking her way. How thankful we are for the Botkin sisters and the godly young ladies that she has met through maidenhood sites (and one through Family Reformation magazine....which I have previously written to you about.) Still, it is never easy to walk this path that brings continual condemnation.
Truly God's beautiful plan for womanhood brings much joy and fulfillment (and I know this from experience, for I have previously walked the world's path for women and was MISERABLE). And God's plan for womanhood begins with godly girlhood.
I have to say I was surprised to see you write that the idea that daughters are to be helpmeets to their fathers is a "pernicious rumor." I remember the first time that I read about this, and it was on the Visionary Daughters blog. During an interview with Genevieve Smith posted on October 31, 2006, she (Smith) is quoted as saying:I became cautious of becoming an employer’s helpmate and instead wanted to become my father’s helpmate and prepare for marriage.
Now, I have purposely been avoiding this controversy because I don't think I need to know about every battle under the sun. However, when you wrote this, I immediately remembered the interview I had read almost a year ago. I don't know how far others have taken this, or what they have said. However, I remember that this issue raised some concern for me at the time.
I look forward to reading what your husband has written about it.
With that said, I wouldn't necessarily say that there is a rumor circulating when a leading member of this movement (daughters staying home) herself has said that she wishes to be her father's helpmate.
Dear Stacy,
Thank you for writing this post; I have read your husband's thoughts as well. You know, about a week ago I received emails from several young ladies who read my blog and would love to remain at home, living and working from home, until their marriage - but are discouraged by their parents. I wrote a post to encourage and reinforce their desire to remain at home, while still keeping peace with parents who have a different opinion; and well, received so many unkind replies - along the lines of "an adult daughter is 'her own person'. She should go to college, get a job and not be a leech on her parents".
What utter folly. Does the Bible say, "at the age of 18, daughters are no longer under the authority of their parents"? No, no and *no*. A father's obligation to his daughter is until she marries and passes to the headship and provision of her husband.
One more thought…
Many of the blogs I follow on a regular basis that remain biblical in their content have one major factor in common; both husband and wife are known to the readers, and are known to be unified in their beliefs and teachings. When we read the writings of the wife, many times we can also read the writings of the husband. Or the wife writes about her husband so that we may know him and his support of her and her submission to him.
So many detractors of the biblical roles of women are themselves women, and we know nothing about their husbands. Do their husbands support what they are writing? Do their husbands even know what they are writing? We never hear from the husbands, whether they support their wives, whether they care about what their wives are doing with their time, and how they themselves stand on these issues.
These women all write profusely about the biblical roles of women, submission, daughters remaining at home under their father’s protection, etc. with not one word of support or affirmation from their husband.
This one seemingly little observation reveals so very much about these women.
In Christ,
Trish
Thank you for this wonderful, uplifting, and encouraging post. Through your book Maidens of Virtue and your blog, you have become a Titus 2 mother to us who need the example.
May the Lord continue to bless you and your pen (or keyboard!)
“When you wrote this, I immediately remembered the interview I had read almost a year ago. I don't know how far others have taken this, or what they have said. However, I remember that this issue raised some concern for me at the time.”
Hi Brandy,
Thank you for your gracious comment. I apologize for the delay in approving it – I received it this morning, but was trying to wait until I had time to verify the quote you gave me. You see, I know Genevieve and her family and I knew she did not view her relationship with her father as being a “help meet” to him, as is referenced in Genesis 2 where a wife is created as a “help meet” (a help suitable) to her husband. I also have three children with the stomach flu today, so my focus has been elsewhere. I’m trying to be careful about checking things out so as not to further any rumors, confusions, or false impressions.
After reading what you wrote, I did take a moment to contact the Botkin girls to ask them if this was in fact what Genevieve said. After looking up the interview you referenced, we were both taken aback to find that she had in fact used the word helpmeet, as you had said. Thank you for bringing that to our attention. Elizabeth Botkin was very surprised it was there – for one, because she had not caught it herself and two, because she also knew that this is not what Genevieve meant at all.
Anyone who knows Genevieve and her family, or even anyone who read the rest of her interview, could have seen that she was simply expressing her desire to be a helper to her parents, rather than to strangers. Still I shot Genevieve a note asking her for clarification. She is in a different time zone (New Zealand) than us, so I’m not sure when I’ll hear back from her, but I have asked her to clarify her words and I’m confident she will.
“I wouldn't necessarily say that there is a rumor circulating when a leading member of this movement (daughters staying home) herself has said that she wishes to be her father's helpmate.”
I still believe there is a purposeful rumor that is being spread by those who know better – this is the first I’ve even heard of Genevieve’s interview, so I hardly believe it’s at the core of the rumor. However, after seeing this quote, I would say that perhaps “pernicious” (in reference to the rumor) was rather strong and I have removed it from my post. Thank you for causing me to contemplate that – it is my desire to season my words with grace.
The Westminster Larger Catechism (Q & A 144) reminds us that the duties of the Ninth Commandment require us to defend the good name of our brother (or sister) when it is in our power to do so, which would include giving them the benefit of the doubt. I would submit that we should believe the Botkins when they state clearly that they do not believe that a daughter is to be a helpmeet to her father.
Since they have made clear what they believe, if we refuse to accept their word, then we are not obeying the laws of love and charity, since love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7) The same holds true once Genevieve clarifies the words she penned last year.
Lastly, it is “possible” that this interview could have been the cause of some of the confusion around the “help meet rumor” but, in seeing a word misapplied, wouldn’t it have made more sense, and shown more grace to all three girls, if someone would have written to any one of them privately (especially since they are young ladies still developing their vocabulary) and said, “Dear, I’m sure you didn’t mean to use the word ‘help meet’ in that interview when referring to your relationship with your father,” And then explain to her why, rather than “repeating matters” on the Internet?
"He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends." (Proverbs 17:9)
Like Grandma always said, “Folks are gonna hear what they wanna hear.” Not that there isn’t a time to correct our words and refine our thoughts, but we should extend grace to our brothers and sisters in the Lord, hoping they meant the best and privately asking when it seems they didn’t. When a “matter is repeated” publicly on the Internet it typically causes me to wonder at the motive of the writer.
The spirit in which we listen to others will show whether or not we are hoping for good or straining out gnats (Matthew 23:24).
Sarah, Trish, Jenny B, Praying4More, Anna, and Mrs. C - Thanks for the encouragement. God is doing mighty things in Christian families. It's really very exciting!
Jennifer, thanks for the testimony! You are an encouragement to the "old" moms like me! Praise God for your faithfulness as a daughter! What a blessing you must be to your little ones!
Dear Anonymous - It's important that you honor your husband during this time. I know it's difficult when you feel his decision is not good for your daughter, but remember that God will work through your act of godly submission. You daughter needs to see the respect you have for your husband's position. All the while you must be faithful in prayer for what you beleive to be true - with an attitude of "God's will be done."
Dear Stacy,
What will I be found doing upon the day of the Lord’s return?
I ponder this question often, and it has helped me to change some of my pursuits and give other up completely.
Will we be found glorifying Him? Will we be found living lives that bring Him joy and praise? Will we be found obedient? Will we be found guilty of making the gospel of Jesus Christ the main thing?
Or will we be found wasting our time and wasting our lives? Will we be found bitter and angry? Will we be found battling ideologies and systems of thought the Lord never intended us to battle? Will we be found making something other than the gospel of Christ the main thing?
I will choose this day to glorify the Lord and to trust Him, to believe Him when He tells me that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I will choose this day to fight the battles that threaten the core of my faith, the gospel. And I will choose to lay aside those things that waste my time, and waste my life.
I thank you for keeping the gospel the main thing, for defending our faith the way you have. I thank you for your strength and for not giving up. And I thank God that you will be found glorifying the Lord upon His return, you and your husband and your children.
May God bless your day!
Trish
One more thought. When Genevieve wrote, “I became cautious of becoming an employer’s helpmate and instead wanted to become my father’s helpmate and prepare for marriage.” was she implying she wanted to supplant her mother, become her father’s wife and live in a sinful manner?
Or was she simply saying that she wanted to remain under her father’s love and authority as his daughter, being trained up as a helper suitable for her own future husband.
Why would one make something unbiblical and ugly out of something so pure and self-sacrificing? Why would one take something so simple and twist it into blog post after blog post calling it “such a strong burden” to place upon our daughters, and ridiculing the beautiful father-daughter bond so many men are cultivating.
As for me, I believe Genevieve meant no harm in her words. Those of us who are grounded in the Word and not carried about by every wind of doctrine can see it as such, and do not twist and contort her words to mean something she never intended. Shame on those who do.
Trish
Trish, I believe you are right when you say that Genevieve meant not harm in her words, however that does not excuse the absolute necessity of using theologically precise language when teaching others. No one is twisting her wonderful, godly desire to serve others- SHE used the word and if that's not what she meant, she shouldn't have used it. Obviously, upon examination, she determined that it was not appropriate and changed it.
Its not about being tossed too and fro by every wind of doctrine. If we presume to be teachers, then we need to be extra careful about our words. I don't know have access to her intentions, but I do have access to her words.
I got the impression in reading that article and in reading So Much More that these lovely, godly ladies believed that daughters are to be helpmeets to their fathers. They not only use the word more than once to describe a daughter's role, but they use Scriptures intended for wives and apply them to daughters. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who felt this way or there wouldn't be such an uproar. I'm not exactly sure how one is guilty of spreading rumors by publicly examining public statements that were made in a book that has been sold for more than a year.
I am very grateful for the clarification provided by various parties in the past few days. More than anything, I want to understand all this. I want my life, my heart and my HOME to be CHRIST-CENTERED. I am very thankful for the dialogue and, frankly, I hope it continues.
Stacy,
I appologize for taking up more 'comment space' but I was thinking about your post and how scripture speaks about the women who tear their houses down with their own hands. If we weren't a cornerstone, how would we be able to tear it down? Women don't realize the power they truly have!
I am a firm believer that the woman sets the tone for the household (and all future households that may come through her lineage). What an important job we have! When satan attacks, he often goes for our self-worth as a wife/mother/our personhood in general. We need to continually look to the LORD for our worth...and we have a lot of worth; we are his jewels; his daughters.
For those who are interested, I did hear back from Genevieve, and as suspected, Genevieve does not beleive that daughters should be help meets to their fathers. She wrote:
Dear Mrs McDonald,
Thanks for your enquiry regarding my use of the word "helpmate" in my
testimony which was on the Visionary Daughters blog in which I said:
"I became cautious of becoming an employer's helpmate and instead wanted to become my father's helpmate and prepare for marriage."
A better word most certainly would have been helper! I've learned a lot in the three or so years since I penned those words including gaining a deeper appreciation for words and their meanings! Coming home has been the best thing!
I'm very sorry to have caused misunderstanding with that choice of word. I won't be a helpmate until I marry and that will be a
most exciting role to fill! For now the most that can be said is that I've been a helpmate-in-training under the guidance of both my parents.
I'm a helper (like my other siblings) but not a helpmate. And certainly I have been able to help both my parents, taking care of such things for them as cleaning the house and doing the accounts.
It is a blessed thing to be a daughter at home. I'm presently engaged to a wonderful, Godly
young man and he said to me recently that the help I give to my parents encourages him.
He has built up a business that he hoped would be something that a future wife and children would help him with and the fact that I am helping my own parents gives him confidence that I will really want to help him when we are married. Isn't that wonderful!
The Lord has been so good to set me on this path and help me understand my role as a daughter. And the rewards I have reaped - such as giving confidence to and encouraging my fiance - are so precious to me.
Thank you for your note. I hope this clarifies my meaning somewhat! I'm a daughter and as such merely a helper, not a helpmate!
The Botkins have been so kind as to change my testimony so that it reads "helper" rather than "helpmate" to avoid confusing anyone in the future.
God bless you and your family,
Genevieve Smith
I too had wondered about this thinking (daughters being 'helpmeets' to their fathers).
When i read Genevieve's testimonyon the Botkin site and the SO MUCH MORE book, i never once thought that was what they meant at all.
if you read the whole thing in context...
so i am glad that this 'issue' is being so clearly cleared up!
now i can pass along the book (and web address!) freely!
which i do!
blessings to all.
for the kingdom..
for the restoration...
Julie in Georgia
I am so torn about all this talk of young girls remaining at home under the protection of their fathers until marriage.... Do I think it is best? oh yes, I do! Do I want this for my own precious daughters? once again, yes!!! But you see, I am a single mother, and my options are very very limited by the absence of a man in the home. I struggle to make ends meet, continue homeschooling and guide my children, and with God's help they are growing to be wonderful young people. Thankfully, my children's father has remained an involved parent,and he loves his kids! but he has embraced a much more liberal lifestyle.
It is so very painful to read of these wonderful possibilities for young women and know that, through no fault of their own, my daughters can not have such opportunities.
If this were truly God's will for young women wouldn't it be possible for all girls?
I am probably not being terribly clear, and for that I apologize..I guess I am just urging you to think of all the many many girls out there who don't have wonderful Godly men for fathers. They may yearn for this protection as well...what about them?
and what about us...their mothers? what are we to do?
“If this were truly God's will for young women wouldn't it be possible for all girls?”
Dear Diane,
What a good question! I am sure you can attest to God’s faithfulness even in the most trying of circumstances. Though man is not always faithful, God always is!
There are certainly situations we find ourselves in that are less than ideal and, at times, keep us from walking in God’s precepts fully. There are situations where a wife finds herself abandoned by a husband, and perhaps she is forced to put her child in the care of others while she supports her family.
Though God will use this difficult situation in her life for her good and His glory, it is not an example of God’s “preceptive will.” Obviously, God expects a husband and wife to remain married until death and to train up their children together. But we live in a fallen world and many times sin causes circumstances that may leave us longing for a life that looks different than what is possible for someone else.
I know of a single mother who is managing to homeschool her sons while working from home. Her’s is a more difficult life to be sure, but she accepts her role to train up her children for God’s glory, even in the face of opposition and deeper difficulty. I think you would agree that a father’s role in the life of a son is important too A boy needs a godly man to show him how to be a godly man. However, these boys don’t have a father in their lives. She could look at a family who has a father who is faithfully leading his wife and children and say, “If it were truly God’s will for children to be raised in homes with fathers, then wouldn’t it be possible for all children?”
Do you see my point? It sounds like you’re having a hard time – and though you may be limited, remember that God is not, and He is in control. He will be faithful to you and to your daughters. He will make a way for you, where perhaps there seems “no way.” It sounds to me like you are doing a good job with your daughters. Your heart is to love, train, and protect them and you want God’s best for them. Continue in faithfulness and keep praying. Even if their father won’t protect them, God can use you and your faithfulness to do great things in their lives.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply... and sigh(insert rueful smile here), yes I must say I do agree with you. The fact that sin invades lives and makes "God's ideal" more difficult for some families than for others, does not change His ideal. And yes, He can make the impossible not just possible...but reality! He has done this in my own life...I was convinced that it was "impossible" for me to quit my job and come back home to be with my children, but I stepped out on faith, and lo and behold, this fall I did not return to my job. I am home and I can tell you, my gratefulness knows no bounds!! Life is hard for us single mothers, but I believe that God gives us an over-abundant measure of His love and grace...He serves as our husband, and isn't that wonderful? I know if it is God's ideal for girls to remain sheltered at home until marriage, He can make it possible in our family too:-)
I do continue to urge you though to remain sensitive and tenderhearted towards families where the father is not present. Our children are very quick to note the differences between our families and yours...to feel very much like second-class citizens in the conservative Christian world. I suspect that none of the "young heroines of the faith" featured in this film are the daughters of single moms...I hope I am wrong though. Nevertheless I will be waiting for it to come out with bated breath, and my daughters and I will greatly enjoy watching it.
Once again, thank you so much for your reply!
I only just found your blog and this post, so I hope you won't mind me commenting on it even though it's quite some time since you published it ...
I just wanted to let you know how encouraging this post is and how much it has blessed me. I'm a daughter living at home, aged 23, helping out with my family and our business and ministry. It's so easy to get lonely and discouraged, living in this way (which I know is the way God has called me to live right now) when so many don't live this way and think living this way is *totally* strange! This post reminded me that I am not alone ... and reminded me why I am living at home. Thank you so much!
I just had to come back and post another comment to tell you what has happened in our family over the last week or so! My oldest has been struggling with the decision to remain at home, to start college, or begin working. In her heart she wanted to remain home, but it just didn't seem possible. Friends and family have been urging her to "move on"...her father was concerned about her not being productive. I have always told her that the Lord will bless in proportion to what He is entrusted with....trust Him "big" and He works "big";-) Well, can you believe that He has worked BIG? This same dd has been very interested in knitting and natural fiber processing and has dreamed of starting her own small scale business. Last week, a happenstance phonecall to a farm down the road resulted in her being the recipient of hundreds of pounds of high quality raw wool and the promise of a continuing supply.(Actually they were thrilled she was "taking it off their hands" lol!) A few days later she found she would be receiving several thousand dollars from a completely unexpected and "illogical" source...an ample amount to purchase the equipment and stock she will need, with plenty left over a reserve fund. The question of health insurance has also been resolved. And perhaps most important, her father has agreed that this is a productive use of her time...Wow! we are reeling here!
“If this were truly God's will for young women wouldn't it be possible for all girls?”
I guess I will answer my own question! God's best IS possible for all girls, even when it seems NOT possible...trust Him,lean hard into Him. Trust Him "big" and the results are exciting!
Hi, i had a question about daughters at home. I'm 22 and not married. I moved out of home at 17 (i had graduated high school by then, from a combination of public school and christian) i then went into missions and now at college. I come from a culturely christian family (i grew up going to church but it was a sunday thing and that was it.) in my situation, i don't have the option of staying at home, my parents wanted me to go to college, have a career, etc. I agree with you that daughters at home and homeschooling are biblical and the best ways but what about girls like me? I'm having to support myself and i now live in a different country to my parents and God has blessed that to an extreme! It wasn't until i lived away from my family's influence that i could seek God and find a relationship with Him. I'm trying to live how God wants me to live but not sure where to go from here.
I shudder to think of all the young girls in your community whose futures are being drastically limited due to your absolutely archaic thinking. This will probably not be posted, again due to a narrow mindset that cannot stand to be challenged, but I simply had to say something. I sincerely hope and pray your daughters wake up and realize their potential before it is too late.
To Mary Elizabeth's comment:
I'm a daughter living at home and I'm about "potentialed" out. ;)
I'd like to be clear. Getting out of your parents house does not equal the be-all and end-all of fulfilling your potential. I don't know why this is so shocking, but young women can live at home and actually *do* things. It may not be the choice for everyone, but I don't know of much that is the choice for everyone. I live my life knowing that before my Master I stand or fall, and He is able to make me stand by His unfathomable grace.
I'm twenty years old, living at home, taking RCM piano, studying Systematic Theology, delving deep into the Word of God every day, enjoying my family, cooking, cleaning, singing, and just over-all living. :)
My life isn't second rate. I do not need to "wake up" and realize anything. My life isn't a mistake. I'm doing what I want to do: serving God and glorifying Him through ministering to my family, my church, my community, and my country, while preparing for a future that is up to God.
About the post: I first read this years ago, and it's still as much of a blessing now as it was the first time I read it. :) Thank you, Mrs. McDonald, for your ministry.
I am definitely a stay-at-home daughter, and I'm very thankful that my parents allowed me to attend a college in town rather than push me out of the nest to attend their own university, for example, which is two hours away.
"Does the Bible say, "at the age of 18, daughters are no longer under the authority of their parents"? No, no and *no*."
Perhaps, but the Bible does lay out some distinctions as to what age a person becomes an adult. There's a world of difference, Anna, between staying home and behaving like a young teenager who's still under her father's authority:
Exodus 30:14 (38:26; Leviticus 27:3) Every one that passeth among them that are numbered, from twenty years old and above, shall give an offering unto the LORD.
Numbers 1:3 From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies.
Numbers 14:29 Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward, which have murmured against me.
By the time a person's twenty, male or female, their parents should have allowed and encouraged them to make their own life choices.
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