With all the excitement of Christa's and Daniel’s news (and their visit here in Illinois) I almost forgot to share about our trip to Alabama and update you on our new book, Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God!Jennie Chancey and I began this book two and a half years ago! Aside from Jennie giving birth to twins, my giving birth to William, the beginning and ending of our tea room in Katy, Texas, the Chancey’s move to Alabama, our move to Illinois, and about a thousand other "life" things that have happened, I'm not sure why in the world we haven't had time to finish this book!
But, praise God; it looks like we're getting close! Jennie and I had a wonderful brainstorming session during our visit to Alabama last week. We even chose a cover image!
This book was written in response to the false teaching that is flying around the church – the teaching that claims that all women really need is a little more me-time and all will be well with the world. Instead of encouraging us to die to self, which is what all Christians must learn to do, many women (and men) who claim Christ are teaching a different gospel.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. Matthew 16:25
“Let him deny himself.” Not many Christian teachers these days tell us we need to deny ourselves because many are too busy telling us that to be happy we need what we don’t have – or we need more of whatever we already have.
We’re so self-absorbed that we don’t realize we’re getting further and further away from what we’re really after – true joy and satisfaction. The more we feed our flesh, the hungrier it gets. And the hungrier it gets the more miserable and discontent we become. We need to learn to deny our flesh – not find more creative ways to feed and pamper it!
The media (thus the night time soap opera craze) would like for us to believe that a woman who stays home serving her husband and children is not really happy. How could she be? In fact we’re told that if she claims to be joyful, we shouldn’t believe her because she’s either lying or she’s deceived. Maybe she’s even suffering from some sort of syndrome!
These television producers must wonder how a woman could possibly be content serving her family at home when being out in the world is so much more fun and exciting. Who in their right mind would want to change diapers and scrub toilets when they could be having an affair with the neighborhood Casanova? (Or is it the neighborhood yard boy? According to the show, D.H.W., that's normal life!!)
Yes, this is a fictional show. It's ridiculous smut. Nonetheless, television indoctrinates.
Instead of depicting godly women who are desperate for God and passionate about being wives and mothers (that sure wouldn't sell!), this nighttime drama shows us physically beautiful, wicked, Proverbs 7 women who "pretend" to be normal "housewives," but are full of adultery, discontentment, covetousness, lust, insanity, and even murder. If women are stuck home all day, they must be "dealing with it" somehow - and they're more than willing to show you "how". What woman in her right mind could actually be content staying home with children and serving a man who “gets to” be her boss?
Find out "who in their right mind" lives a life of dying to self - and what kind of woman ultimately finds true joy and contentment.
So, now you kind of get the gist of the book, though it will cover much more. It should be out this fall. I’ll keep you updated.
Our families haven't all been together in some time, so it was so refreshing to fellowship with the Chanceys again. We were also blessed to visit with our precious friends, the Keens, as well as the Turleys, and many other families at Reformed Family Fellowship in Chelsea.The CHEF conference was a great blessing and we met many new friends as well as reuniting with old ones. It was a wonderful treat being in the south again and we even stopped off to fill a cooler with fresh Gulf shrimp to take home. Recipes to come…
22 earnest comments:
Stacy,
I'm excited to get a copy in the Fall.
It will be a challenge in my continual walk with the LORD. I pray for all my sisters in Christ that we would all remember the words of the Psalmist in chapter 30. Have a blessed day!
Stacy,
Thank you for being willing to encourage wives and moms in the right path. I am greatly encouraged by your blog, and your book "Raising Maidens" and pray you will continue with the godly encouragement.
Cindy
(mom to 8, ages 11 to 4 months - 3 maidens - so far)
I love the title, but even more I enjoyed your blog today. What great insight. Do I have permission to copy it and send it to some young women in my church? If not I'll just send them here to read it.
I'm looking forward to reading the entire book when it comes out.
Kris
Interesting book idea. But, I just internet searched your book title on Yahoo, and the only hits are for the TV show, that I am sure you don't want to draw attention to. Please consider renaming your book. Also, we are not married to houses... homemaker seems a better word, a more accurate, descriptive word for our calling. A positive adjective to consider would be 'hopeful' or one of it's synonyms. Hope it all works out.
That sounds like a true gem, and I cannot wait until it's published!
Yes please, keep us all posted.
Society needs this type of book now more than ever, especially the church.
Bravo to you both and may the Lord bless the work of your hands.
Denise Opper
Looking forward to this book,too, after my daughters, granddaughters and I enjoyed Maidens of Virtue so much. I am thankful when women who understand God's plan are obedient in sharing wisdom and truth, despite what the world thinks.
Stacy,
I am looking in your book, "Raising Maidens of Virtue" and am a little confused. Your Chapter on "The Bath" seems to me that it is saying you can have some "me" time.
You say how you don't always have time for one, but when you do, it is a "relaxing treat for me, it is a blessing to my husband and children as well."
So, what if a lady wants to go away to a Spa for an afternoon. A nice back rub, a detox wrap, pedi, mani. Now all of a sudden she needs to deny herself and take up her cross.
I am sure there are many things you could be doing to serve your family and die to self while sitting in the bath.
If, in fact, you have changed and are no longer enjoying "me" time, then I humbly apologize.
God Bless!
Just popping in to say "hello" and thank Stacy for posting about our book project! It has been a long one spread out over two years and lots of thinking and praying. I wrote all my chapters while riding in the car and typing on a laptop during several family trips--LOL! Made for some bumpy typing, but it was great to be able to hash out my thoughts with my dh (who was driving). Real-life writing: you gotta love it!
I thought I'd comment on two things posted here. One person mentioned searching for the book title and only coming up with hits for the awful TV show. There are two things to think about here: 1. Our book isn't out yet, so it naturally doesn't come up on a search; 2. We hope that many people in the future who search for the tv show will find our book! That's one reason we've kept that working title (even after mulling over alternatives). Our whole "desperate for me" culture needs to hear a message of sanity and peace from Scripture. There are even Christian wives who watch the show and glean worldly thinking from it. My husband has a colleague who said women in his neighborhood even had a "Desperate Houswives" club that included CHRISTIAN wives--one of whom left her husband and children and demanded a divorce. It's like Stacy said: feed the flesh, and it only grows hungrier. We can never satisfy our fleshly lusts. They just grow and consume us instead. We pray that this book will be a light in the dark for women who cannot find peace and joy in their God-given role.
Next, Anne asked if it is wrong ever to have "me" time. I want to assure you that Stacy and I are not taking pot-shots at well-deserved back rubs and compliments and special outings. Not at all! The Bible is clear, "He gives His beloved sleep" and "there is a time to dance... a time to refrain from sowing seed." God gives us rest and "downtime." The point is that we must not continually PURSUE "me-time" and insist that we have to have it. The more we grasp after it, the more elusive it will become and the more frustrated and angry we will be (as we feel our "rights" are being somehow violated). I have to tell you from experience that God's Word is literally true. When we lay down our lives, Christ gives us back our lives. When we trust Him with our time, He multiplies our time. I think a lot of times we are great about tithing financially, but stingy about tithing time. We don't believe that if we give up "our time" the Lord will give it back. I am here to tell you that He does! I have found that, on the days when I run around like a madcap chicken, trying hard to get all "my" stuff done, and rushing everyone else to do the same, I end up exhausted and frustrated at the end of the day and lie in bed wondering where the hours went. On the days when I remember to let go of "my" time and "my" projects (by the grace of God) and happily focus on doing what needs to be done for others first, the Lord LENGTHENS my days! I am not kidding! It sounds mystical or otherworldly, but it's a literal truth. Those are the days I find "extra" hours on my hands and see that I am able to get more accomplished than when I am busy doing it "my" way. I have found this to be true since I was a child. You'd think I'd have learned the lesson by now and never get caught up in "my time" any more, but I'm a sinful human being, and there are definitely days I forget! Trust the Lord. Give "your" time to God and trust Him to give you the time you need to accomplish what you desire to do.
Anyway, I meant to just comment briefly, and I've run on and on! Have a blessed day!
In Christ,
Jennie
Thank-you for clearing that up! =)
I rarely go to the spa or get my nails done, but there have been times when my hubby will say why don't you go do something for yourself this afternoon. You are always doing stuff for us, so do something fun for you.
I mistakenly thought that you were saying that was wrong.
I am sorry.
That makes me feel better that I can every few months enjoy a pedi.
I can't wait to read the book.
To Stacy and Jennie,
I am excited that the book will be coming out soon and looking forward to gleaning much wisdom.
I will be praying that the Lord leads you to speak exactly what is on His heart and that He will give you the courage to boldly share in your new book, in spite of any opposition you might receive.
Many blessings...
I'm really looking forward to this book coming out. It sounds like a good one for "renewing our minds"!
Thanks Stacy (and Jennie) for being dilligent to get this project done.
I cannot wait to read this book! Stacy, you and Jennie are two of my favorite authors and I am thrilled that you are able to accomplish this (with the Lord's help) in the midst of all that has been going on in your busy lives.
I'll be praying for you as you complete this- that the Lord's message will come through loudly and clearly!
Blessings in Christ,
Sarah in Ga.
Hi Ladies! Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you, Jennie, for posting and addressing so well a few of the concerns.
As Jennie said, we aren’t claiming that anything that brings us pleasure or rest is sinful. That would be unbiblical and Gnostic and we aren’t promoting a life of sanctimonious works, vain striving, or self flagellation. We’re not seeking to build self-made martyrs.
Like Jennie said, the buzz of the day tells us we “need” to have me-time or we’re going to sink into a depression. It tells us to seek after things for ourselves because if we don’t, no one else will! Forget about trusting God – He might forget us, after all! Forget about serving others unless we’ve been served first and as long as it doesn’t get in the way of our own goals and aspirations. We have it all backwards.
There’s nothing more frustrating to me than to be told I desperately need something and know that I can’t have it. One of my pet peeves is when someone tells a new mom, soon after child birth, that she looks tired and should try to get more rest. Most new moms would LOVE to have more rest. And instead of telling her to try to get a nap, how about going over to her house and offering to read to her children and feed them lunch while she TAKES a nap!
The problem is, if there is nobody available to help us during those times and we are tired and weepy and run down, then we have to learn that we must thoroughly rely upon His sovereign will and strength. We must realize that if outside help doesn’t come, then it’s His will for us right now and we must rely on His strength. If we think we MUST have time to ourselves or we’re somehow being deprived, then we are being self-focused and we will find ourselves depressed and bitter.
And remember that God is always FAITHFUL to give us what we need. More than believing that He will not give us more than we can handle – we must believe He will equip us to handle whatever He chooses to give us!
He may decide to bless us with physical rest and outside help from a friend or the church, a spa treatment, and bubble bath, or whatever; or He may decide to give us supernatural strength to get through a trying time. He may also want us to realize our utter weakness and reliance upon Him. In all instances we must learn to turn to Him, knowing that our job is to serve and glorify Him by serving others and take joy in our task no matter how difficult.
If we find ourselves overwhelmed with our weariness or depleted to the point of depression and despair, perhaps we are relying on our own strength and focusing on what God has not chosen to give us. He will give us the rest we need when we turn to Him. Isaiah 40:31
Stacy,
Your blog is such a blessing. Thanks so much for being willing to keep on teaching unpopular truths. I am thankful for women like you for will continue to stand up for what God's word says about women instead of bowing to the politically correct culture we live in.
With regard to this post, I just wanted to say that I think most churches today give women a very subtle feminist message. That is what happened to me. Not so much the "me time" issue, but more the "you need to be doing something really important with your life...so come to all the ladies' meetings, all the Bible studies, all the ministries the church has to offer." "You need a break from your kids so we will provide childcare, and you can fellowship with all the other ladies." Does that tune sound familiar?!
Well, I know from experience that following that road does not bring contentment, fulfillment, or joy. In fact, the more I tried to find contentment that way, the more discontent I became. It wasn't until I gave my all to my home and the family within that I regained the joy I had thrown away.
Be blessed today. And by the way, congrats. on your upcoming grandbaby. What a wonderful blessing!
In Christ's Joy,
Patti
When I saw the words "desperate" and "housewives" in the same sentence, my first immediate thought was the TV show. And I've never even seen that show!
I suppose it just goes to show how easily the ungodly and profane things of this world can fill our mind if we're not careful. Now, I don't pretend to know if that TV show is ungodly. Like I said, I've never seen it. However, I don't fully believe that the producers are attempting to glorify our Lord with that show.
That being said, I think "Passionate housewives desperate for God" is a wonderful title to such a Godly book! The non-Christian woman may pick it up just because of the title. How clever!
I do look forward to it being finished!
Blessings to you Stacy and Jennie for creating something so needed!
Jennifer Ross
www.SewModest.org
Hip Hip Hooray! I've been looking forward to another book. Can't wait to see it on the book rack for sale!
Blessings,
Laura D. in Va
Stacy,
I feel so very blessed to have discovered your blog recently and even more blessed to learn of this new book! Both your website and Jennie's LAF have encouranged and challenged me as a daughter of God, wife, and mother. Thank you to both of you for your hard work on your respective sites. I look forward to learning more wisdom from both of your lovely ladies!
God Bless,
Mrs. Brigham
Wow! This sounds like a great book! I enjoy your blog, thanks for your words of wisdom! :-)
God bless you,
Jennifer ;-)
I look forward to this book. I hope you finish soon. :)
May God give you much inspiration.
Elisabeth
Stacy, I read about this book project on LAF not long ago and I'm so excited! You ladies are doing a wonderful, important job. Can't wait to hear more about the book.
Stacy,
I just finished your book, Raising Maidens Of Virtue, and although my daughter is still too young, it was such a blessing to me, and will help me as I go along on my journey of raising her to be a maiden of virtue. I am so excited about your new book, and can't wait to read it!! I hope you go on to write many more. Blessings to you!
Dianna Castillo
(Mommy to Yvonne)
I have to say this book has changed my view on life! I have been going into this vortex of depression and anger at the life I am leading- confused as to whether to have a sewing business in my home vs. being the 'perfect'
1950's mom stereotype, only finding myself in a more depressive state. I have been going to church since I was 25 (now 40), and the chuch I was in was an 'old school' church- women had to be barefoot and pregnant, with no higher education allowed. Then I went to another church where the women were strong-will and VERY opinionated. I( also got caught up in the feministic virtues of the world, and made my husband miserable in the process.
I only started making changes a few years ago, but I still struggled with the 'perfect mom' syndrome and the 'me' thinking.
Then I bought your book.
I am happy to say things have definitely changed for the better, and though I am still trying to find a correct balance, my new outlook has made things MUCH better for all of us. My house isn't perfectly clean, but my kids and husband are happier people, and I feel closer to God than I ever have been before. Thank you for writing this book!
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